How many times have you read those words, thought about it, maybe dreamed a bit and then moved along with your day? I have countless times…and have spent time dreaming and deciding that I didn’t need to be afraid anymore, only to find my self paralyzed in my own self doubt. I remember a time not that long ago that a friend and colleague invited me to a class she was hosting addressing this very subject. I was determined to attend, it was going to be the day that my life came together, I was going to learn how to attain my dreams. The day came, the day went, and I think I went shopping with my wife and daughter…. I mean being afraid is silly, I have been through this type of workshop before, I leave motivated and excited and live fearless for a few days or weeks and then before you know it I am back to same ole same ole. Besides family is important to me and why would I waste a day with a bunch of strangers sharing feelings. Then there was the time I had the opportunity to spend the morning with Paul Cummings, author of “It all Matters” and listened to him lay out a path to living your dreams. I left that day, highly motivated and determined. I pictured myself sitting by the Sacandaga Lake, my dreams would come together, I would write my goals….in ink, lay out a timeline….and I was going to sign it just like Paul suggested. This time would be different I thought. I attended his book signing that evening at Alpin Haus. Paul signed a copy of his book, invited me to attend one of his week-long trainings…he belived in me and was willing to mentor me, I was ready.
This is just what I needed ….I was on my way to great things. Shortly thereafter, I started this blog. It was a logical first step, I have always loved writing, and I have felt that people have responded to my words. I was determined, inspired, committed and…..scared. What if people didn’t like it? What if no one read it? What if people challenged me…..and most crippling….who am I to teach people about leadership? As you can see, the first post was made in February of last year. Even taking the first leap in publishing did not shut off my fears like I had hoped. I did it all, I set up the blog, I registered the domain name…I wrote my post, I proofed it multiple times…shared it with my wife, but I never published it. I was afraid.
I have a fundamental belief that we can do anything we set out to do. Yet fear was keeping me from achieving many things. Fear is normal, we are all afraid at different times in our lives. In grade school I was afraid that I wouldn’t pass math. In High School I was constantly worrying about fitting in or worse yet disappointing my swim coach. I was afraid when my grandmother was in the hospital and I had to look my mother in the eye and let her know it was time to let her go. I was terrified when my father suffered his massive heart attack and died as the paramedics fought to bring him back to life. Fear is a part of life.
Recently when I was in a conversation with my wife in which I was challenging her to work towards one of her goals. I heard myself say “what are you afraid of?” And then it hit me – I have been focusing on the wrong thing all this time. I have been focusing on not being afraid, but in order to do that, I must first understand what it is I am afraid of!
How could I possibly fix something that I havent identified? Once I identify the fear, then I can tackle it. Without that crucial element having occured, I will continue to be parlayzed by fear and not even understand what that is.
So today, lets back up to the starting point…not “what would you dream, if you weren’t afraid?”….. instead I ask you “what are you really afraid of? While you sort that out…I am going to publish my first post.
Keep Raising the Bar! 